Are You a Should-er?

Do you ever find yourself saying “Should” statement’s to yourself? Recently I realized that I “should” on myself a lot. 

“I should be able to do that.” “I should have behaved better.” “I should know better.” “I shouldn’t do that.” 

At first glance should statements feel like a good, productive, promoting thought.  Mostly, should statements cause a feeling of shame inside of me, a bit of self-loathing or belittling. 

Growth matters, and each time I have a “should” I know that I have an opportunity to grow by self coaching my brain and notice how my own thoughts are creating my feelings. 

Next time you notice that you are “shoulding” on yourself or others, ask yourself why. 

I have started replacing all of my “shoulding” with first asking myself why I should or shouldn’t, I use this acronym to check if your why is valid or if it’s causing me shame

 S- should

H- have

A- already

M- managed

E- everything

For me, should and shame go hand in hand.